The Private Eye and Silamander wanted a slow day, but I was itching to wander, so I went out to Siam Center in search of a gift for Silamander’s parents and a pair of pants. When I packed, I hadn’t realized that Thai culture is conservative in dress, such that shorts and tank tops, while tolerated among the foreigners, are seen as sloppy and messy by the Thai, who prize being well dressed and composed. I have two pairs of pants, but one is a special pair with insect repellent soaked into it that I hope to use only when needed, such that when we reach the Amazon I’m not eaten alive.

The shopping trip was a total failure. Siam Center is a combination of high-end shopping mall on one side of the street and a warren of tiny soi (alleys) where budding local designers have a boutique. The boutiques had cool, stylish, but impractical for the climate clothing, and the mall had expensive western stuff. So I had lunch instead for $5 – $1 for bowl of spicy chicken and rice from a street cart, and $4 for a tiny scoop of Haagen-Daz in the mall. So Siam Center was the juxtaposition of streetside Bangkok, aspiring young Bangkok, and affluent Bangkok all within a few hundred feet.

In the evening, we went to Lumpini Stadium for Muay Thai matches. Trying to get to the ticket window was a battle – the different resellers/hawkers descend on you and fight with each other. From what I can tell, the first to put a sticker on you has branded you as a customer and you’re off limits to the others. But when someone pushes you that hard to follow them, chances are they have a scam. So we wandered away to get some cash then made a direct line for the ticket window as the hawkers screamed around us and tried to stop us. Locals can buy tickets for a few dollars (200 baht or so), while foreigners pay through the nose (2000 baht/$65 for ringside seats).

The stadium was a small, indoor arena, seating maybe 1,000. The Private Eye noted that the top stadium for Thailand’s national sport has a corrugated tin roof and ceiling fans. While I’ve seen western tourists of many nationalities while wandering, the ringside spectators were all American.

Like Sumo, a match begins with both fighters moving about the ring, in this case dancing and gesturing to traditional music. There isn’t the same kind of posturing as Sumo, but it does give you a chance to get a sense of the fighters and how they move. Each bout consists of 5 two minute rounds. The best fight was the fifth:

One of the fighters, dressed in pink trunks, was a bit taller and looked mean. The other, dressed in blue trunks, was much warmer; he smiled as he danced around the ring, moved with much more grace, and continued dancing a bit even after the music stopped. There was a slight feminine touch to his mannerisms.

After the first round, it seemed to me that the mean fighter was going to win, as his greater reach meant he was able to land blows much more easily. The Private Eye said she was sad, because she liked the dancing guy more.

But of course the fight doesn’t really start going until the third round. The mean guy lashed out with his foot, the dancing fighter grabbed it, pulled, and threw him to the ground without losing the least bit of his own balance, jumping and dancing away. A few more times he threw the mean fighter to the ground, sometimes dancing away, sometimes jumping on his chest. The mean fighter didn’t even stick around for the decision, and stormed off as soon as the fifth round completed. The Private Eye and I were both delighted. We had to leave just after the sixth match to make our way to Expat Teacher for a day of hiking, but we spent the evening of Christmas Day watching Muay Thai in our own version of boxing day.

— The Professor