A few things we never did figure out during our weeks in Indonesia, Malaysia and Singapore:

1. Why are all t-shirts “oblong”?

2. What is up with all the faux Native American stuff? Kickapoo Soda, the “real American” “joy juice”? Apache brand? Stores of touristy Native American stuff like feather headdresses and peace pipes? Is there a factory for that crap here? One man in Yogyakarta told me that it is because their own tribal peoples in Kalimantan (Borneo) have similar dress, and once I saw some dancers from Borneo in the Chingay parade in Singapore, that made some sense. The outfits and feathered headgear did look similar to my untrained eye. But then I saw that there is a wild west show with American-type Indians in Panang, Malaysia. I definitely don’t remember hill tribe village shows in the U.S.!

3. Why is the air conditioning in Singapore and Indonesia pleasant, but frigid in Malaysia? Is it for the comfort of those in observant Muslim dress?

4. How can food be such a big deal and people eat so much yet everyone be so small? Is it because of the poor nutritional qualities of rice?

– The Professor and the Private Eye